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Left foot in the world and Paul...

creteis@yahoo.com

     

     Behold a dream in the night season of the season of man ...yea even in the latter days of the earth that is tired and weak ...dread deadly ...full of evil sickness that comes of terminal sin and unrightness ...even so the earth is full ...as are even ...the living before God ...

     and within the dream ....i found myself walking on the "face" of the earth ...and surface of it ...and the sure face of it was as sticky mud ...and hard ...if not unpossible to walk in ...

     and mine heart reached out to God and Christ to be raised from the stink and stickyness of it ...

     and behold raised up was i ...and i delighted ...Yet one foot was still stuck there ...eeeeeck ! ... mine left foot was stuck ...and i struggled to free it ...yet it stayed ...and could not be loosened ...

     and the horribleness of it ...was like unto an animal caught in a trap ...by one foot ...and the trap so grievous ...that taking to be skinned might follow ...and an horrible wrenching against the trapped foot followed...and pity be that one might have to chew his own foot off to escape ...(like trapped animals do when "trapped" by the traps of the world ...)

     and so there i was ...raised ...all raised up to God and Christ ...save only my foot caught in the "mud" of the world ...and i hated it ...for not to be free in God and Christ ...yet trapped bound and "stuck" of left foot ...as if to show that any path taken in and of the world ...was to the left ...and nothing to the "right" allowed by the worldly ...

     and it was as if God and Christ have mended ...heart and mind and soul ...back to themselves ...and loved me ...yet this foot stuck here had caught me ...

     and i measured the matter ...prayed and heartfull yearned for understanding ...and was shown the "flesh" of the matters ...the "meat" of the matters so to speak ...for it was only by God and Christ that i was raised ...even from the dead ...from all manner of evil and deadly sin and vile unworthiness ...blessed out of it ...and even when sin hard to be rid of ...It was they who blessed me further by chastising me out of wickedness ...(though chastisement By God and Christ is a dreadfull thing) even opened mine eyes that i might see Them ...and Heaven ...and true evil as opposed to evil ...and oh so many wonders that i can barely record ...of their truth and love and kindness ...and mercy and grace ...

     Yet it is plain ...that i am "stuck" here ...and un able to escape ...unabled to escape ...and that sin still had a hold on my flesh ...and i feared the chastisement of God and Christ ...dreadfully ...for i had been shaken and ripped apart before by the cleansing of chastizement ...and prayed the more ...to escape ...

     and i shook and pulled and ripped at mine foot ...mine left foot ...to be free ...yet not ! and nothing that i did could accomplish it ...and i became weak of the struggle and i prayed ...as before many times ...to be free ...and Yet the foot remained so stuck ...and came to remembrance what Paul witnessed of within himself ...2 CORINTHIANS 12 ...And lest I should be exalted out of measure through the abundance of revelations, there was given unto me unquietness of the flesh... For this thing besought I the Lord thrice (three times), that it might depart from me. And he said unto me: my grace is sufficient for thee. For my strength is made perfect through weakness.

     and within the dream came an choosing ...the wonders of God and Christ and blessings ...on the right ...of the right ...and on the left ...all horribleness vexations ...and miserableness ...and the matter of sin held on to ...in between ...well easy then is it to choose ...save to accomplish ...the ridding of sin ...is another matter ...for not of mine self could i do it ...no not at all ...save only God and Christ ...do deliver from sin ...and they measured me in the dream as to what my heart was ...and in such ...as dreams are it is unpossible to lie ...and so God and Christ did see plainly my heart over the matter ...as i choose the right ...

     and so hopefullness ...comes ...though the sin remains ...and is warned truly against ...God and Christ know it is not i that would have it save only this flesh ...that clings to the mud of the world ...and i wait upon the God and Christ to set me free ...least i die ...the more ...or even that i might die the more to the flesh ...as my prayer be answered ...

     for be it a sure thing ...that i can not cleanse myself ...neither can i chastise myself ...yet in heart i find agreement with the hearts of God and Christ ...in all things worthy before them ...

     and they both know ...how i dread the chastisement ...and is such a death to me ...and i pray God and Christ deliver before chastisement be required ...or that i slip the more ...in the "mud of the world"

     who can withstand the chastisement of God ? ...none of himself ...no not one ...for of himself ...none shall stand justified before God ...and it is true that God does not change ...neither his chastisement ...for that what was needed of heart to be mended long ago ...in generations long past ...is the very same mending of heart today ...from beginning to end ...even as the end approaches ...

     So then what can any say ? ...today is different ? ...we are allowed ? ...of heart to do more miserable ? than our ancestors ? ...allowed more ...to be of evil heart and our own thinking and justifing...nay no ... nothing has changed ...yet the judgement of God is the same ...and has not changed ...

     Yet we know that as the earth grows old and weak before our eyes ...in these days ...even so has stain ...unmeasurable come upon us ...and thick mire and mud of an earth full of evil ...sticks to us ...that mud made of the "waters of the world" (evil teachings) mixed with dust of dirty works for gain sake ...and the blood and sweat of laboring to gain ...mixed in ...and the dung of our "own destiny" ...and our urine where we have pissed on all rightness ...compromising rightness for pleasure ...and the allowing of all wicked pleasures ...

     Nevertheless we are stuck here ...and stuck to us is this ..."mud of guile" ...

     and the matters and measures of matters for me are simple ...for Glory to God and Christ i have been delivered of much sin and evil worse than can be recorded ...and delivered the more from worse hooks of wickedness set deep in the flesh of ...heart mind and soul ...and have they blessed me with deliverance from most all ...and yet sin remains in me ...and i have to God and Christ prayed earnestly ...bending knees of heart ...that all be gone ...and that i be free ...the more from the bondage of sin ...unworthy thought ...desires ...and or any other matter that is unworthy before God and Christ ...

     and i ask these things of gladness ..of heartfullness ...that there be nothing remain in me unworthy before Them ...Heaven

     and did Christ answer me ...for he has the judgement of God given to him ...and the knowing of the flesh ...in him also ...and my Dear Lord Jesus said to me ...my grace is sufficient for you in these matters ...(speaking directly of the sin that remains) ...and i had joy in his mercy and grace for me ...and it seemed i was free ...and danced in Heaven with God and Christ ...

     Yet then came to pass that the Lord did speak to me again ...and said ...if you will not stop this unworthy thing before God ...you will die ...and i became sore vexed ...and dread woe ...as though dead ...fearing yet the more chastisement of God ...for it is a very grievable thing ...and for me one that prays death come quickly ...for barely able to "in"dure it ...

     And Yet as it seemed to me ...to be a contrary thing ...for one ...and knowledging the sin ...God and Christ knowing ...my heartfull repent ...over the matters ...and even to turn my face away again and again ..in fear ...and trembling ...and did the Lord say to me again ...my grace is sufficient for you ...

     and again ...when the matter worked worry in my heart ...again would He say ...even again that His grace was sufficient ...

     Yet again ...for in a dream the Lord warned that the sin that remained was death to me ...and again i went to him ...and earnest of heart to pray the more ...for how is it that a thing a sin remaining ...if covered by grace ...still cause death ??? and i wondered a mighty wonder before God and Christ ...

     and i was allowed to walk in the miserableness of mine own "thinking" and wallow in mine own understanding ...till all hell seemed to break its stink over me ...and i was ripped of flesh and tormented by all that i had thought about and all i did to be free of it ...and as i layed there in mine own ignorance ...and suffering by mine own hand ...i prayed ...Lord how is this that such miserableness comes over me ???

     and i was given quick answer ...as a new day broke over me ...and rest ...inabling rest came ...after the sickness of mine own judgements of things ...

     for it is this ...if there be any sin left in us ...and Christ does say to us truely ..."my grace is sufficient for you " ...it is not then ...(speaking of this sin) ...something to be taken lightly ...and to go to sin the more ...no and nay ...God forbid ...and Christ forbid ...

     Yet even we must stay the fight against it ...and to witness the more against ...that sin which still has hold on us ...and to help others the same ...saying for them to stay the fight and to keep same heartedness against that miserableness within ...

     and if we see that one brother is delivered ...or sister the same delivered ...we measure not against ourselves ...yet pray the more ...for the Glory of God and Christ ..that these have been delivered from ...that which remains in us ...and to raise God and Christ up in Glory nevertheless ...whether we be delivered of...or not ...

     For it is a delicate matter within us ...if a sin remaining be covered by the Grace of God and Christ ...and that spoken to us plainly ..and not assumed ...and delicate still the more ...not to "inner"tain that sin as if it were nothing foul ...before God and Christ..

     for surely all sin is foul before them ...and needs be come against ...continually whether "covered by grace" or not ...

     clear example might be ...cigarettes ...nasty rotten cigarettes ...now if this wretchedness be covered by grace ...and the habit hard ...then does a person go then to buy ..a carton of packs ...so as to look forward to ..days and days of smoking still ?? ...no nay ...for it a measure ...that one day at a time be sufficient ...and one day given that any might live ...so it is that ...if even this habit has hooks in any ...to buy only one pack a day ...or enough for one day ...and hope to God and Christ still to be delivered from that wretched habit ...hoping even all the time to be delivered still ....

     hoping even all the time to be delivered still ...day to day ...one day at a time ...all hope being in God and Christ ...

     

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