A witness and a testimony ....of the great ..and perfect Goodness of God and Christ ...and how They measured my heart ...and helped me ...though i feared greatly ....as my heart was in my fathers hand ...and he did look upon it ...and Christ who had been in the flesh ...did help me ...more ...heartwardly ...unto my Father .
For it had come to pass that the ...text of the Word... that Jesus himself ...had given me ...came to mean too much in my heart ...and even the web sight ...as it was shown me ...that the "flying book " be shown to the four corners of the earth ...this also came to mean too ...much too much to me ....
And i say again ...mean ...to much to me ...and so much so that it ...became ...out of measure in my heart before God ...and Christ ...for it meant too much to me ...and my heart was out of balance before God ...and a disquietness came over me ...and yet ...i considered ...(of mine own unworthy thinking) ...woe this heaviness is ...just the works of the world against me ...and that nevertheless i will stay the fight ...eeck wrong ...eeck error ....eeck ...
Truth was... the "text" of the Truth of God ...the Books ...meant too much to me ....and Truth was... the web sight ..."the flying Book" meant too much to me ...and so God moved over me and all that He and Christ had given me ...and set it aside ...for a short time ....for all manner of desperateness came both to the publication and the web sight ...
Of the Books ...all manner of promoting of eveil writings of men ...was shown me ...so much so that the worst and the least of the dung... that man writes ...even against the children ...was promoted over the ...the Books of God ...the Truth of very God... that Christ himself had given me...and i was wroth and it seemed to me to be ...a hurtfull thing to my heart ...and hatefull thing to my thinking ....and sore vexed was i of mine own thinking ...THEN worse upon worse ...the whole web sight ...or it seemed ...was layed waste ...for years of recording was lost ...as files were transferred ...one provider to another ...and even as i worked frantic to save and to keep all the matters ...even the computer ...went to destruction ...and so much so that all ...all every thing was lost ...
And so there i was ...sore vexed by my own hand and wroth ...over all the vexations ...and worse upon worse... i believed God had brought these things upon me ...and i fell to miserableness ...and hellishness ...and cryed out ...."why don't you just break my back " for i can not bear this any more ...and of this... i fell in heavy heart before God ...repenting ...and all hope of mine own when out of me ...and all help and hope in God and Christ ...came more fully to my heart ...
Then He opened my eyes ...and my heart ...and showed me plainly ... And put me in ...in the balance ...so that i might rightfully weigh the matters of my heart ...that i was so sore shaken by ..and i was sore shaken ...by my own thinking ...and sore moved by my own feelings ...my heart out of balance before God and Christ ...and my heart for the things of God ...became weighed ...in earnest prayer ...
And answers came from Him ...that though it is truth ....that the text of the truth of God ...as was given by Christ ...was important ...and that the "flying book" ...the web sight ...that went to the four corners of the earth ...both these things were important before God ...for they were given of Christ ...Yet ...i was not to make these things so important ...within my heart ...as to make less the other greater measures of God and Christ's works ...that they had shown me.
And i was guilty ....and i needed ...the back of my heart broken ...for i had made ...what God and Christ had given me ...into a burden ...upon my heart ...
A vile and unworthy thing before God ...to say anything of God and Christ might be a burden ...
And i thank God and Christ for bringing me into such chastisement of heart ...and the correcting my of heart ...and to work within my heart ...that it be more perfect in measure ...for the will of God ...is perfect ...and blessed be God and Christ that keepeth the hearts of their children in good measure ....a thing unpossible for man ...Yet of God and Christ all things are possible ...
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